How to (effectively) Smush a Bug

Ok, I know that this is not really a life or death important situation, but bugs get really annoying!!! For instance, quoting Hercule Poirot of The ABC Murders, " A murderers mind works in two different ways. For example, say there is a fly buzzing around you. You intend to smush it, why? Either it is getting in your way and it must be eliminated, or it poses a threat to humanity and the good of the people, so it must be destroyed." And then he would say something in french. (I didn't copy word for word.)

First, you must track the bug until it appears to be resting someplace. Then, taking a shoe, magazine, book, or other lethal weapon,(that you aren't afraid of getting bug guts on,) smush it. Or if you are a "save the bugs of the USA" dude, or see a rare species of tarantula, cover it with a cup, and slide a sheet of paper under the cup and transport it to either your back yard or laboratory.
NOTE!!! If you are ever bitten by a tick, save the tick in a jar so that doctors will more easily find if it carries disease.
NOTE #2!!! If you are trekking through the Amazon Jungle and happen to find a herd of slimy, black, blood-sucking leeches on your arm remember: Once they've had their fill of blood, they will drop off. But if you are getting grossed out, or they just keep attaching themselves, touching them with something hot, like a burning stick, will get them off.