5 Easy Steps to Manipulation

Okay, you have wanted a pony ever since you were four years old! But your mother always said that there was no way that you could take care of the pony, there was no room, and you were not going to get it from Santa, either.

Manipulation is a way of life. It's so easy to get what you want, and you don't even have to beg! See, people are simple. They are like open books, ready to read. And once you have read a book, you know the surprises and twists inside it, and once you read a person, you can make them give you what you want!



STEP 1: Why?

Your mother has just refused to buy you a pony. NOTE: This is NOT where you list the great benefits of your choice! This is where you ask the all-important one-word question: Why? They will tell you why they want to do things their way.

EX. "Darling child, a pony is just too expensive. Even if we did have the money, you would not be able to care for the pet. Also, we do not have enough room in our small home for an animal of that size."

Now, you think. You absolutely have to understand where this person is coming from to manipulate them.



STEP 2: Understand and Reassure

Now, you know why your mother is against the whole pony idea. So, you have to tell her that you understand what she is saying. Then you need to reassure her that each of the things she talked about will be fine if things go your way. You need to state how you will fix each individual problem brought up.

EX: "Oh, Mother. I completely understand your point and I respect what you are saying. Although, of course, I took Horse-Care lessons when I was seven, so I could absolutely care for a pony. And i happen to have acheck for a million dollars here in my pocket, to pay. It could also pay for a barn for the backyard to hold the horse!"

STEP 4: Fear

Tell them all of the terrible things that will happen if they don't do what you wanted them to.

EX: "Oh, goodness me, if I didn't get that pony-I could very well grow up with absolutely no skiils at all to use in later life to be happy, and become a sour, boring adult.


STEP 5: Suck Up/Paint a Picture

This is THE easiest part. Just give a subtle compliment or two (not right out there-or it will be obvious.) This will give the person a good outlook onto you as a truthful person. (Truthful-*snorts*) You could also create a picture of how great things would be if they picked your choice. (Or do both, see below!)

EX: "Besides, mummy, you would look so graceful riding sidesaddle on a gray mare, wouldn't you?"

STEP 6: Bat your Eyelashes and look, (ugh,) Adorable
Must I really explain myself?
EX: *Bat Bat* *Twirls hair with finger*

By now you should have them. Just make sure...

• That you don't use this same tactic too often-if you must use it more than once in a few weeks, (on the same person/group of people,) then vary it-be creative!
• That you aren't trying to influence too big of a descision. Never a good idea. But again, if you must, be delicate and VERY CAREFUL.
• I cannot stress this enough. Think of every possible outcome of what will happen when this person falls victim to your manipulation. Make sure it won't hurt anyone that you don't want to hurt. AND-think hard before manipulating someone you are close with. If they realize what you did, it wouldn't be easy to get their forgiveness.
• Don't try this on me. It just won't work. So don't bother-unless you want your neck snapped.

Use wisely!